I'm feeling bad.

There, you already know that this is going to be another one of those moany-groany rants, so buzz off if you don't intend to sympathise.

Yeah, so I feel like most of my efforts go in vain.

Ever since I joined this school (they gave me admission, I wasn't good enough to get in otherwise) I have been attempting to prove the fact that I am not all that bad either. I thought I was doing a pretty decent job of it, and clearly I was wrong. Clearly I am still that "charity pupil" who got in only 'cause of their benevolence and I am utterly incapable of anything worthy of notice...
I thought that badge (though I admit, Poorna deserved it more), the work I have put in for everything that has happened in school so far, and my pretty much above average grades would put me in the "decent student" bracket. Somehow I just can't get outta the rut.

Sucks.