My first day of 11th grade I spent sitting next to Shah, fiddling with my tie, talking to Varshine and wondering what on the planet I was doing there. On the second day I sat next to Shine, fiddled with my tie, listened to poorna and nupur chatter and still wondered what I was doing there… In fact, for a long time, I wondered why I was in this school, where my English teacher clearly detested me, where almost everyone was cleverer than me, where when you say “good morning ma’am” most people don’t deign to reply, where if you want to go for some event you’re told “we don’t know how good you are”… then one day, Bharathi ma’am said “Anindita, I can’t believe you’re a new student! You’ve settled in so well… I feel as though I’ve known you for a number of years.” It felt good. Then I wondered why it felt good… here I was, itching to get out of this school where I clearly felt out of place, yet it felt warm and comfortable to be told that I don’t seem to be a new student at all…

I figured after a while. I wasn’t out of place, just not used to feeling so welcome. I had classmates who spoke to me as though they’d known me for most part of their lives; I was welcomed to school on my first day not by my Sishu Griha seniors but by Varshine, Reema and Shreya whose first few words were, “Hi! We’ll have fun di!”; I was meeting all kinds of people and they didn’t seem to mind meeting me; I was getting used to calling myself fat and hearing a synchronized “SHUT UP, NO!!!”; I was speaking to people who’d topped Bangalore in exams that I’d written too and we were talking about my earrings not academics; I was calling a certain person gummy bear and hearing him groan in front of me daily; I was being defended by someone I barely knew (Soumya) against Akash’s “I’m better at English than you are” when there was no need whatsoever for such actions on her part; I lunched daily with a group of people who taught me how to hug, how to believe in myself, how to tell anyone that I love them without being afraid that there’d be no reciprocation – how to live, in short; I was running around getting involved in everything extra curricular; I was being belted by PT Ma’am for choosing a junior throw-ball team that “can’t catch the ball” as though I even knew half the kids there, forget having selected them; I was using the most ridiculous language ever and saying “Boo!” and “Bleargh” whenever I felt like it, and people took it to be part of me; I was, after a very VERY long time, being myself or, perhaps, everything I had wanted to be.

I have been putting off blogging because I knew I’d end up writing about NPS, and then I’d cry (yes, I know I do that often) because I’m loathe to leave it. It’s not the institution that I want to cling to, but the people. When I started out writing this, I thought memories, the little things, would be what I’d bring out. Now, I don’t think this is the time to… maybe one day I’ll plunk down and make a batch video, of the two years that I’ve been here, and capture all the tiny things that make us (How nice it feels to say ‘us’!)… And if there is one thing of which I am certain, it’s that the video will have unity written across it in bold.

I’m glad beyond measure that I ended up here, studying with you folk… While I certainly do treasure my schooling in Sishu Griha, you have given me far more than I had bargained for. My mother asked me, the other day, as to whom I’d keep in touch with from NPS. I started spewing names and then figured that of the people I have interacted with, there are very few with whom I’m going to allow myself to get out of touch… You’ve taken me the way I come, and given me all that I could ask for. If I started listing out everything that I am grateful for, I’d either take forever or miss out on a number of things, neither of which I am willing to do…

Thank you, batch of 2010. Thank you very VERY much.

♥