Thursday, January 24, 2013

Glad to be unhappy

Do you ever miss somebody so much that it becomes a constant ache in the pit of your stomach? But memories make you happy - so you're simultaneously ache-y and grinning like a loony toon? Miss somebody so much, when you're low it brings tears to your eyes that you don't know when you'll next meet the person? Yet, when you're low, just a conversation makes the universe you inhabit seem a whole lot brighter? It leaves you smiling in class to be able to snatch a minute's conversation or a text message or two, between hours. Makes hurtful things seem immaterial, because there's somebody who understands, or is willing to talk things through and make sense of them. Who might disagree but doesn't do so by cutting you up into strands of ribbon. Who understands what drives you, and whose passion (for entirely different things) seems completely sensible to you. Somebody whose embrace you long for, so much that it's almost a physical pang.

I owe the stoned chai-wallah, Kamani Auditorium and the Dilli winter something special.