~ze jitters~

I had promised myself that I wouldn't moan.
Hah.
I chose to study law despite gazillions of people advising me not to and I'd show them that I can do it, I thought.
Evidently I thought wrong.

Here's how it goes.
Till around 7th grade my parents and teachers comfortably assumed that I'd pursue pure science or some such because I enjoy that. Then in the 8th grade I announced that I want to be a journalist. After some sniffing, they agreed. Then NDTV broadcast a special feature program about careers in which Barkha Dutt stated that it's better to do a professional course before a masters course in journalism. Then they assumed I'd do engineering and then become a journalist. Some time in 11th grade I figured that engineering before journalism was rubbish and that law is oh~so~cool and that NLSIU is awesome^infinity. So I did a crash course in law during the summer hols. And did nothing to augment the learning process over the next one year. That constitutes mistake number 1. Come 26th March and I blow the dust off my books and stare at the stuff that I'd spent the whole of a month studying. I wonder HOW all of that got wiped off my brain... Then I thought that I'd be able to make it up and do well nonetheless. That's mistake number 2.
Classes were fun, but that's probably because I tend to do all those things in class that a conscientious student wouldn't dream of doing... Mistake number 3?
Mocks were good, supposedly. So say my classmates. BUT, if authority is to be believed, I'm regularly falling short of the requisite marks to get into the college of my dreams. Falling short by 20 odd marks. And that, in simple CLAT terms, is suicide.
It's not only about getting into NLS. I want to do well because I chose to do this. I want to do well to prove to those people who've either undermined the effort it requires to get in or the very stream that I have chosen for myself. I want to, for once, achieve what I set out to. And I want to do a huge bunch of people proud, one of them being my old English teacher who taught me how to recite and speak slowly, how to write a speech coherently, how to believe that no profession is inferior if it's done well - a person who, I know, wishes with all her heart that I study law and then go on to make it big as a journalist because she, as a young girl, was told that law and the like are not for women and that she should just stick to the sensible profession of teaching.

Since there are four days to CLAT, one would think I ought to be studying. Is there any point in doing so? Four days. What difference can it make? A lot, apparently.

I will moan; I'll grunt; I'll tear out tufts of my hair; I'll talk about how I've lost hope but you know what? If I don't end up in the top three, I'm going to be dreadfully disappointed.

So lets see how these 4 days go.

You will next hear from me on the 11th-either happy or in pieces.

Toodles!

*pssst*
cross your fingers and pray for me!
(and Shah, I'm still Agnostic ;-) )