I'm feeling bad.
There, you already know that this is going to be another one of those moany-groany rants, so buzz off if you don't intend to sympathise.
Yeah, so I feel like most of my efforts go in vain.
Ever since I joined this school (they gave me admission, I wasn't good enough to get in otherwise) I have been attempting to prove the fact that I am not all that bad either. I thought I was doing a pretty decent job of it, and clearly I was wrong. Clearly I am still that "charity pupil" who got in only 'cause of their benevolence and I am utterly incapable of anything worthy of notice...
I thought that badge (though I admit, Poorna deserved it more), the work I have put in for everything that has happened in school so far, and my pretty much above average grades would put me in the "decent student" bracket. Somehow I just can't get outta the rut.
Sucks.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
if wishes were horses...
If wishes were horses, then all my horses would die.
They'd be starved. Tortured. And murdered. In cold blood.
Oh, and my dad had milk, rosogolla and beer. Simultaneously.
YUCK.
And someone (who supposedly reads my blog) has begun calling me Ninni-compoop. Do I care? No.
I find it amusing.
My phone is called "Sausage". I bet you didn't know that!
I lost my favourite bag hangy-thingy... His name is Squishy and he is a squishy(surprise surprise), black and white panda. If you see him, his mommy is yearning for him!!!
OH and our new Scientifica theme is Blue and White =D
looks elegant. People don't like elegance these days. They like bold stuff. Not my fault. We are doing our best. The rest can shit in the stinkiest loos on the planet. =p
They'd be starved. Tortured. And murdered. In cold blood.
Oh, and my dad had milk, rosogolla and beer. Simultaneously.
YUCK.
And someone (who supposedly reads my blog) has begun calling me Ninni-compoop. Do I care? No.
I find it amusing.
My phone is called "Sausage". I bet you didn't know that!
I lost my favourite bag hangy-thingy... His name is Squishy and he is a squishy(surprise surprise), black and white panda. If you see him, his mommy is yearning for him!!!
OH and our new Scientifica theme is Blue and White =D
looks elegant. People don't like elegance these days. They like bold stuff. Not my fault. We are doing our best. The rest can shit in the stinkiest loos on the planet. =p
Monday, October 12, 2009
Writing poetry is just not my thing.
So I'll just string
A bunch of lines
This way
And you'll think I'm awesome.
And if you don't think so
I implore you to.
My life.
I like these short sentences.
Yeah, so my life
And everyone else's, I bet,
Is a bed full of roses
Replete with thorns.
The ups smell good
The downs scratch.
There, inspiration over
All gone in a flash
I'll be back to complete
These incomplete sentences.
So I'll just string
A bunch of lines
This way
And you'll think I'm awesome.
And if you don't think so
I implore you to.
My life.
I like these short sentences.
Yeah, so my life
And everyone else's, I bet,
Is a bed full of roses
Replete with thorns.
The ups smell good
The downs scratch.
There, inspiration over
All gone in a flash
I'll be back to complete
These incomplete sentences.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
when things suddenly look bleak
I'll love today, no matter what.
Tomorrow might just be a darned sight worse.
I'll take joy in all the little moments,
The punch in the tummy, the sudden hug
That stupid wise crack
That cracked us all up.
It may seem to be the worst possible time
It may look like the darkest of nights
But I'll love today, no matter what.
I'll love it 'cause it just might be all I have left to love.
Tomorrow might just be a darned sight worse.
I'll take joy in all the little moments,
The punch in the tummy, the sudden hug
That stupid wise crack
That cracked us all up.
It may seem to be the worst possible time
It may look like the darkest of nights
But I'll love today, no matter what.
I'll love it 'cause it just might be all I have left to love.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
~
08-09-2009
Our first conversation with any TISBian regarding Vivum '09. Dipika and I compiled a list of doubts that we were to clear. By the time we concluded the conversation, we had exactly double the number of doubts in our heads. The chap we spoke to gave us all the details we asked for albeit with a stark warning. "I'm not sure" he said. Ah! Great!
09-09-09
Apart from being an awesome date, this marks conversation number two. Got another large number of queries "cleared". Only it turned out later that the person on the phone was rather good at story writing and was rather convincing in delivery. Everything he told us was wrong except Karan's and Rishit's email IDs. Even better!
In the number of times that we attempted to clear out all ambiguities, what irked us most was that no one who was unsure of something bothered to be clear about it. Everyone we spoke to gave us their version of the rules and left us more confused than ever.
We kept in close contact with the 'powers that be' (much to their disgust, I bet) and reiterated that we needed our final participation details before we closed for our holidays else we'd have a really tough time co-ordinating between all the prospective participants.
When we got what we assumed to be the final set up, we wrote out our lists and sent them in.
48 hours before Vivum, we received a "Final Quota List". A rude shock indeed! After we'd begged, pleaded, implored for finalised details, we had to view a document that called for massive changes in our lists. Then we noticed that the "Final Quota List" didn't even include the Lit and Lang department. So Dipika called up again. She spoke to a girl who treated her like a five year old. Dipika was told that "Gift of the Gab" was an individual event with 1 contestant per school. Fifteen minutes later she received a mail that said that "Gift of the Gab" was a team event with a team of 2-3 participants. Annoyed with these contradictions, the ambiguity regarding the number and composition of Vivathon teams and the fact that the Cycling event was cancelled without any prior intimation she asked me to call up and speak to the concerned authorities. I called. Again. And again... I was forced to hear the "Welcome to TISB..." twenty eight times (believe it or not) before someone deigned to pick up. He took down my number and said that someone would call me in five minutes. I received a call in 20 minutes from the same person Dipika spoke to. This was one of the most infuriating conversations I have ever had with anybody. To preserve even the last vestiges of courtesy took all that I had and beyond. I was "angry" (Really? With whom, I wonder!?), "confused" (Take a WILD guess why???) and we were the cause of all our problems. The fact that they had continuously mislead us till we lost our tempers was our fault. The fact that not one person really knew what was happening was our fault. They can conveniently forget to inform us that they cancelled an event, but the fact that someone called up to ask about it is again our fault. Oh, and she said that "Gift of the Gab" was definitely an individual event ("I should know, I'm an organiser!"). Darned disorganised organiser you are then! It ended up being a team event with our school not having a team due to one person insisting that she was right no matter what.
By the time it was Vivum Day One, I really couldn't care less about it. Whom am I kidding, I did want to do well, but seeing that I didn't, my public stance remains one of utter callousness regarding the event. The first thing I noticed while registering was that they were using our old lists. After making us write out new ones, they didn't even look at it. Great! In the inauguration, the person from Cisco spoke brilliantly. Boman Irani was amazing. And things were looking up.
Then we went out and saw the schedule. Mix Master on D1. Whatever was looking up fell right back down with a plunk! We went and sorted it all out with the Computer department. We began with Web Master. Surprise SURPRISE! Another change of rules. "I'm sorry! You can't use Dreamweaver! You must use FrontPage..." WHAT? We've never used FrontPage in our lives. You ask us to learn Dreamweaver and then conveniently give us some other software. Like THANKS! Top it all off, your rules state that a school has a maximum of 1 team with 2 participants. But since NPS C has come in from afar, they have 2 teams with 3 each! Fair much?
I got Boman Irani's autograph though! And ze Principal and he liked our design (which we did on photoshop)... =D
Then Karan Lala turns up and informs me that "Concrete Jungle" is an individual event. And they discuss how he "got a poem" from me and "Rishit didn't". SERIOUSLY? How did all of them know in the first place? Ever heard of an email signature, folk?
Electro da Vinci next. It was supposed to be a picture converted to something regarding "Global Warming" which is why I went for it. But NO! WHY would they stick to their own rules? They gave us a picture of a painting of a creature that looked largely like a cross between a bear, rat and monkey (It was meant to be a chipmunk, Dhwani told me later...) and expected us to make it look better. Ah, such a clear emphasis on Global Warming.
Next day was the worst of the lot. "Concrete Jungle" was fun. Yes, CEO refused to let us ask questions as he wanted to raise them in the next round, but it was fun. My first commerce event and I did okay enough I guess. Shreya was, as always, awesome! =D
Then the Computer sweethearts deigned to inform us that Mix Master and Web Master were to occur simultaneously. Who cares about a certain mail in my inbox that clearly stated that one could participate in all Comp. events without a clash? Now it is ALL our fault that we are doing both! He even had it in him to yell, like he had the right to. Thanks to that shoddy, egoistic bit of shit I had to do the entire website by myself while I worked on FrontPage for the first time in my life. An enjoyable experience indeed. Then they had the gall to say that we ought to have chosen one. WHY can't they admit their faults?
Day Three. Well whatever. We played around on those manicured lawns. And that really is the highlight of the day for most of us. And the phosphorescent dancers.
I really wanted to have an amazing experience here, it's our last school fest...If I had not helped with getting rules cleared and stuff, I might have enjoyed myself. But as it stands, I learnt a valuable lesson in diplomacy. How to smile at a person when you want to punch him/her in the face; how to be polite when all you want to do is swear. I learnt it all here. AND I spoke to Boman Irani! That's good enough!!!
Am I being too cynical? Perhaps I am. Then again, I was always a sore loser. If you think I am wrong in what I said, blame it on this fallacy of mine.
Our first conversation with any TISBian regarding Vivum '09. Dipika and I compiled a list of doubts that we were to clear. By the time we concluded the conversation, we had exactly double the number of doubts in our heads. The chap we spoke to gave us all the details we asked for albeit with a stark warning. "I'm not sure" he said. Ah! Great!
09-09-09
Apart from being an awesome date, this marks conversation number two. Got another large number of queries "cleared". Only it turned out later that the person on the phone was rather good at story writing and was rather convincing in delivery. Everything he told us was wrong except Karan's and Rishit's email IDs. Even better!
In the number of times that we attempted to clear out all ambiguities, what irked us most was that no one who was unsure of something bothered to be clear about it. Everyone we spoke to gave us their version of the rules and left us more confused than ever.
We kept in close contact with the 'powers that be' (much to their disgust, I bet) and reiterated that we needed our final participation details before we closed for our holidays else we'd have a really tough time co-ordinating between all the prospective participants.
When we got what we assumed to be the final set up, we wrote out our lists and sent them in.
48 hours before Vivum, we received a "Final Quota List". A rude shock indeed! After we'd begged, pleaded, implored for finalised details, we had to view a document that called for massive changes in our lists. Then we noticed that the "Final Quota List" didn't even include the Lit and Lang department. So Dipika called up again. She spoke to a girl who treated her like a five year old. Dipika was told that "Gift of the Gab" was an individual event with 1 contestant per school. Fifteen minutes later she received a mail that said that "Gift of the Gab" was a team event with a team of 2-3 participants. Annoyed with these contradictions, the ambiguity regarding the number and composition of Vivathon teams and the fact that the Cycling event was cancelled without any prior intimation she asked me to call up and speak to the concerned authorities. I called. Again. And again... I was forced to hear the "Welcome to TISB..." twenty eight times (believe it or not) before someone deigned to pick up. He took down my number and said that someone would call me in five minutes. I received a call in 20 minutes from the same person Dipika spoke to. This was one of the most infuriating conversations I have ever had with anybody. To preserve even the last vestiges of courtesy took all that I had and beyond. I was "angry" (Really? With whom, I wonder!?), "confused" (Take a WILD guess why???) and we were the cause of all our problems. The fact that they had continuously mislead us till we lost our tempers was our fault. The fact that not one person really knew what was happening was our fault. They can conveniently forget to inform us that they cancelled an event, but the fact that someone called up to ask about it is again our fault. Oh, and she said that "Gift of the Gab" was definitely an individual event ("I should know, I'm an organiser!"). Darned disorganised organiser you are then! It ended up being a team event with our school not having a team due to one person insisting that she was right no matter what.
By the time it was Vivum Day One, I really couldn't care less about it. Whom am I kidding, I did want to do well, but seeing that I didn't, my public stance remains one of utter callousness regarding the event. The first thing I noticed while registering was that they were using our old lists. After making us write out new ones, they didn't even look at it. Great! In the inauguration, the person from Cisco spoke brilliantly. Boman Irani was amazing. And things were looking up.
Then we went out and saw the schedule. Mix Master on D1. Whatever was looking up fell right back down with a plunk! We went and sorted it all out with the Computer department. We began with Web Master. Surprise SURPRISE! Another change of rules. "I'm sorry! You can't use Dreamweaver! You must use FrontPage..." WHAT? We've never used FrontPage in our lives. You ask us to learn Dreamweaver and then conveniently give us some other software. Like THANKS! Top it all off, your rules state that a school has a maximum of 1 team with 2 participants. But since NPS C has come in from afar, they have 2 teams with 3 each! Fair much?
I got Boman Irani's autograph though! And ze Principal and he liked our design (which we did on photoshop)... =D
Then Karan Lala turns up and informs me that "Concrete Jungle" is an individual event. And they discuss how he "got a poem" from me and "Rishit didn't". SERIOUSLY? How did all of them know in the first place? Ever heard of an email signature, folk?
Electro da Vinci next. It was supposed to be a picture converted to something regarding "Global Warming" which is why I went for it. But NO! WHY would they stick to their own rules? They gave us a picture of a painting of a creature that looked largely like a cross between a bear, rat and monkey (It was meant to be a chipmunk, Dhwani told me later...) and expected us to make it look better. Ah, such a clear emphasis on Global Warming.
Next day was the worst of the lot. "Concrete Jungle" was fun. Yes, CEO refused to let us ask questions as he wanted to raise them in the next round, but it was fun. My first commerce event and I did okay enough I guess. Shreya was, as always, awesome! =D
Then the Computer sweethearts deigned to inform us that Mix Master and Web Master were to occur simultaneously. Who cares about a certain mail in my inbox that clearly stated that one could participate in all Comp. events without a clash? Now it is ALL our fault that we are doing both! He even had it in him to yell, like he had the right to. Thanks to that shoddy, egoistic bit of shit I had to do the entire website by myself while I worked on FrontPage for the first time in my life. An enjoyable experience indeed. Then they had the gall to say that we ought to have chosen one. WHY can't they admit their faults?
Day Three. Well whatever. We played around on those manicured lawns. And that really is the highlight of the day for most of us. And the phosphorescent dancers.
I really wanted to have an amazing experience here, it's our last school fest...If I had not helped with getting rules cleared and stuff, I might have enjoyed myself. But as it stands, I learnt a valuable lesson in diplomacy. How to smile at a person when you want to punch him/her in the face; how to be polite when all you want to do is swear. I learnt it all here. AND I spoke to Boman Irani! That's good enough!!!
Am I being too cynical? Perhaps I am. Then again, I was always a sore loser. If you think I am wrong in what I said, blame it on this fallacy of mine.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
UGH.
Damn that helicopter.
Damn it to HELL.
I survived 10th grade boards 'cause there were 2 months of absolute bliss to follow, 11th grade First Semesters 'cause i needed to prove to 'em teachers that i am not a fool, 11th grade finals because (again) of the holidays that come right after. Then came these dratted exams.
Shreya and I decided that we'd go to Sishu Griha after my last exam, that was supposed to be on the 4th of September. I spent ALL these torturous days singing to the tunes of "SGS on Friday, SGS on Friday!!!! =D =D" and then that ill fated helicopter had to go crash. That too, with the Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh (a Congressman to top it all off) in it. How awesome. While every one is squeaking "Holiday! We have a HOLIDAY!!! YIPPEE!!!" all our Teachers' day plans and everything gets rubbed in the mud.
HELL!!!
I've been looking forward to meeting everyone for so long. Shre and I were to sit in on some English class, and learn Julius Caesar all over again. We were going to susprise all the teachers by being there, in the first place. Then we were going to drop in on Malathi Aunty and I fully intended to shamelessly show off my "President Of Literary Association" badge to her (I know she'd be very Very happy). . .We wanted to do so many other very random and nice things, spend half a day at school and soak in the atmosphere that we miss every day of our lives and try not to show.
:'(
and it is all gone. Dunno when we'll get another chance to do what we intended to do. Not the day before this Teachers' Day, in any case.
The exams are almost over and I survived them, true.
I don't seem as happy about it as I could have felt though. No where as close to as happy as I would have felt, had tomorrow happened the way I wanted it to.
:'(
Damn it to HELL.
I survived 10th grade boards 'cause there were 2 months of absolute bliss to follow, 11th grade First Semesters 'cause i needed to prove to 'em teachers that i am not a fool, 11th grade finals because (again) of the holidays that come right after. Then came these dratted exams.
Shreya and I decided that we'd go to Sishu Griha after my last exam, that was supposed to be on the 4th of September. I spent ALL these torturous days singing to the tunes of "SGS on Friday, SGS on Friday!!!! =D =D" and then that ill fated helicopter had to go crash. That too, with the Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh (a Congressman to top it all off) in it. How awesome. While every one is squeaking "Holiday! We have a HOLIDAY!!! YIPPEE!!!" all our Teachers' day plans and everything gets rubbed in the mud.
HELL!!!
I've been looking forward to meeting everyone for so long. Shre and I were to sit in on some English class, and learn Julius Caesar all over again. We were going to susprise all the teachers by being there, in the first place. Then we were going to drop in on Malathi Aunty and I fully intended to shamelessly show off my "President Of Literary Association" badge to her (I know she'd be very Very happy). . .We wanted to do so many other very random and nice things, spend half a day at school and soak in the atmosphere that we miss every day of our lives and try not to show.
:'(
and it is all gone. Dunno when we'll get another chance to do what we intended to do. Not the day before this Teachers' Day, in any case.
The exams are almost over and I survived them, true.
I don't seem as happy about it as I could have felt though. No where as close to as happy as I would have felt, had tomorrow happened the way I wanted it to.
:'(
Friday, August 21, 2009
never too late. . .
I sang the Sishu Griha school song today. Lustily and tunelessly. Then I went on to all the other songs we’d sing according to which day it was. . . I needed to. I needed to see whether I remember the lyrics, the tune. . . thankfully I did.
Then I read my school diary from cover to cover. Basu aunty used to force us to get the most mundane things signed, I noticed.
Our first term exams began on the 16th of August 2007 with hindi, in which we had chapters 16-21 in Chandragupt and Seema Rekha, Vijay ki vela, and Lakshmi ka Swagat . . . English was on the 28th wherein we had Acts III, IV, V of Julius Caesar and “The Cloud”, “After Apple Picking”, “Tithonus” and “The Diverting History of John Gilpin”. . . funny how we had no short stories for this exam.
Kundhavi wrote my final exam timetable for me. It’s there in her unmistakable neat script at the back of my diary… the last time that we wrote an exam in Sishu Griha.
The only time Ajitha aunty has ever given me a “good” in any paper was when I got 24 on 25 in some grammar test. Then she cut 5 marks from another paper and I remember being rather rude to her about it then. Now I’d give anything to have her back again.
Basu aunty didn’t realize that I wrote one of my tests in my EE test notebook . . . it was a map marking test. I was always pathetic at that. I miss topography though. .
I just saw my 9th grade Renaissance project. The cover page is hideous but I remember being rather proud of it then… the project is rather unremarkable, but Plaboni aunty wrote a pleasing “good and informative” at the end of it, and that works for me!
I got 11.5 on 20 in a Biology test once and Sujatha aunty wanted me to “learn all theories and facts properly”. . . the test was on Genetics. I still remember that hypertrichosis is a Y-Chromosome linked disease.
My math test notebook is a jungle of 60%s. Janaki aunty never gave up on me though. .. she told my mother once (when I wasn’t there) that “Children like these strike only once, I am waiting for a centum in March 2008." I’ll always be sorry that I didn’t deliver.
I remember the class in which Hema aunty caught me eating peanuts. Then another time when she kicked us out of class because we hadn’t got our physics workbook. The next Wednesday that I forgot, I went home in lunch break to get it. Sheetal and Neha once told me about how they went to speak to her regarding a test paper (electricity part 2) and she told them that I was the only one in the class who understood the chapter while she screamed at me for not getting the household circuit right. That is the highest praise I have ever received from anyone. But, when she announced in class that she doesn’t care about our marks so long as we love the subject, I truly began loving her. I’ll always like physics and it is only because of this one person.
If I survived the vagaries of 10th grade, it is thanks to Renu aunty. Apart from being an awesome teacher, she was always so approachable and one always walked away after a conversation with her, feeling more at peace.
There! I just saw an ancient Hindi paper popping out. I got 3.5 on 6 in some class test. Anila aunty was the epitome of fun. She cracked random jokes, said weird stuff, made the whole class kneel down and generally ensured that we love her.
We moaned so much about EE. On numerous occasions Sheela Aunty told us (me rather) that our negative attitudes aren’t helping any, but we continued grumbling. How she managed to teach such reluctant students I really don’t know but she sure did succeed!
What makes my experience at Sishu Griha what it is, is not just the staff, but the class that we were. I’ve had my ups and downs with you folk but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned how much you mean to me. We’ve grown up together and I have unforgettable memories with every one of you.
I know this is more about our teachers than anything else, but I never have truly paid tribute to them. . . well, they say it's "never too late". . .
I don’t know why I wrote this. I don’t know why this queer feeling of nostalgia gripped me. I don’t know why I am feeling so “homesick” a year and half after leaving school, but there you go.
I just needed to write out memories. . .
Peace, ho! Caesar speaks.
Then I read my school diary from cover to cover. Basu aunty used to force us to get the most mundane things signed, I noticed.
Our first term exams began on the 16th of August 2007 with hindi, in which we had chapters 16-21 in Chandragupt and Seema Rekha, Vijay ki vela, and Lakshmi ka Swagat . . . English was on the 28th wherein we had Acts III, IV, V of Julius Caesar and “The Cloud”, “After Apple Picking”, “Tithonus” and “The Diverting History of John Gilpin”. . . funny how we had no short stories for this exam.
Kundhavi wrote my final exam timetable for me. It’s there in her unmistakable neat script at the back of my diary… the last time that we wrote an exam in Sishu Griha.
The only time Ajitha aunty has ever given me a “good” in any paper was when I got 24 on 25 in some grammar test. Then she cut 5 marks from another paper and I remember being rather rude to her about it then. Now I’d give anything to have her back again.
Basu aunty didn’t realize that I wrote one of my tests in my EE test notebook . . . it was a map marking test. I was always pathetic at that. I miss topography though. .
I just saw my 9th grade Renaissance project. The cover page is hideous but I remember being rather proud of it then… the project is rather unremarkable, but Plaboni aunty wrote a pleasing “good and informative” at the end of it, and that works for me!
I got 11.5 on 20 in a Biology test once and Sujatha aunty wanted me to “learn all theories and facts properly”. . . the test was on Genetics. I still remember that hypertrichosis is a Y-Chromosome linked disease.
My math test notebook is a jungle of 60%s. Janaki aunty never gave up on me though. .. she told my mother once (when I wasn’t there) that “Children like these strike only once, I am waiting for a centum in March 2008." I’ll always be sorry that I didn’t deliver.
I remember the class in which Hema aunty caught me eating peanuts. Then another time when she kicked us out of class because we hadn’t got our physics workbook. The next Wednesday that I forgot, I went home in lunch break to get it. Sheetal and Neha once told me about how they went to speak to her regarding a test paper (electricity part 2) and she told them that I was the only one in the class who understood the chapter while she screamed at me for not getting the household circuit right. That is the highest praise I have ever received from anyone. But, when she announced in class that she doesn’t care about our marks so long as we love the subject, I truly began loving her. I’ll always like physics and it is only because of this one person.
If I survived the vagaries of 10th grade, it is thanks to Renu aunty. Apart from being an awesome teacher, she was always so approachable and one always walked away after a conversation with her, feeling more at peace.
There! I just saw an ancient Hindi paper popping out. I got 3.5 on 6 in some class test. Anila aunty was the epitome of fun. She cracked random jokes, said weird stuff, made the whole class kneel down and generally ensured that we love her.
We moaned so much about EE. On numerous occasions Sheela Aunty told us (me rather) that our negative attitudes aren’t helping any, but we continued grumbling. How she managed to teach such reluctant students I really don’t know but she sure did succeed!
What makes my experience at Sishu Griha what it is, is not just the staff, but the class that we were. I’ve had my ups and downs with you folk but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned how much you mean to me. We’ve grown up together and I have unforgettable memories with every one of you.
I know this is more about our teachers than anything else, but I never have truly paid tribute to them. . . well, they say it's "never too late". . .
I don’t know why I wrote this. I don’t know why this queer feeling of nostalgia gripped me. I don’t know why I am feeling so “homesick” a year and half after leaving school, but there you go.
I just needed to write out memories. . .
Peace, ho! Caesar speaks.
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